Making the Terrible Twos Terrific by John Rosemond

Author:John Rosemond
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-4494-2160-1
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC
Published: 2013-04-07T16:00:00+00:00

A The worry that not giving your daughter milk when she asks for it may eventually cause her to develop an eating disorder is a prime example of what I call a psychological boogeyman: an unfounded fear that paralyzes a parent’s ability to think clearly about an issue and hence his or her ability to act effectively. You’re hardly alone in this regard. I estimate that at least 90 percent of America’s parents (mothers, mostly) are infected with one or more of these diabolical psychological viruses.

You’re making a mountain out of an anthill. Wouldn’t everyone’s lives be simpler and therefore happier if you simply give your daughter milk when she wanted milk? If your daughter were not thriving, she would be symptomatic: dark half-circles under her eyes, lethargy, a distended tummy, and so on. In the absence of these symptoms, one is forced to conclude that nutrition is not a problem. Some toddlers eat like small horses, some eat like birds (a bad analogy, since most birds eat huge amounts of food relative to their body weights). In either case, these toddlers thrive. Milk is full of good vitamins. If you want to add some insurance into the equation, give her a chewable multi­vitamin every day.

Problems of this sort reinforce my belief that very young children should not be sitting at the grownups’ table for family meals. The arrangement motivates parents to cajole a child to eat, and when that fails, they have to attempt force. The child becomes the focus of everyone’s attention at the table and learns that she can manipulate her parents by refusing to eat what they want her to eat. The learning in question takes place intuitively, not consciously, but the end result is the same: family meals that are not pleasant for anyone.

Put a plate of bite-size fruits and veggies (carrot sticks, cucumber slices, orange wedges, dehydrated apple slices, and so on) out for your daughter to snack on during the day. Thirty minutes before you and your husband sit down to eat, put your daughter at the table (or a smaller, child-size table, which kids generally love) with her dinner. Let her eat what she feels like eating, then give her milk, then let her down, at which point you and your husband sit down to a peaceful, child-free conversation. When she’s older and has developed a more ecumenical palate, have her join you. In the meantime, enjoy!

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